...like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.
Callaghan over at Creatively Progressing threw down the challenge: 'What's Your All-time Favourite Scene from a TV Show'? Against better judgement, as in work beckons, I succumbed.
Man, what a hard question! There are so many...the scene when Angel goes evil and breaks Ms. Calendar's neck midway through Season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer - I sat up in my bed in shock..."He didn't just...did he? Shit!"
Only that scene was topped by the Season 2 finale scene when Angel becomes good again at the exact time Buffy has to choose between letting him live or killing him to save the world. And she says she's sorry, and kills him! Holy shit!!
Or in 'Judging Amy' when Tyne Daly has to attend an anger management class, and after hearing people's petty complaints about being cut off in traffic or losing their keys - she launches into a riff about what makes her angry is seeing children being hurt or abused or abandoned by their own parents...so sue me! One of the funniest yet most heart-wrenching scenes I've ever watched...
Or in 'The Cosby Show' when the Huxtable family lip syncs to Ray Charles 'Night Time Is The Right Time'...
Or in the 'X Files' at the end of season 2 when Mulder finds a train car buried in the desert filled with alien skeletons, and then the men in black appear and seal him inside (or so we think)...WTF? :0
I could go on and on...
But I'm going to go with a scene from 'The Contest' - yes, Seinfeld...probably because I've thought about it, referenced it, marveled at it more than any other tv moment. After George is caught 'pleasuring himself', a competition is devised to see who can go the longest without...well, you know. And then...
KRAMER: Hey, look at this, c'mere. There's a naked woman across the street.
George and Jerry quickly join him at the window.
KRAMER: Second floor from the top. (Pointing) See the window on the left?
GEORGE: (In awe) Wow!
JERRY: (Also amazed) Who walks around the house like that?!
GEORGE: (Suggesting) Maybe she's a nudist. You know, those nudist colony people..
KRAMER: ..Yeah.. (Pause) yeah..
Kramer slowly stands up, and walks out of Jerry's apartment.
JERRY: Hey George, let me ask you a question. In these nudist colonies, do they eat naked in the dining room?
GEORGE: I would imagine it's all naked.
JERRY: What about the chamber maids? Are they naked, too?
GEORGE: (Still focused on the nudist) They're naked, the gardeners naked.. the bellhops. One big nude-a-rama.
JERRY AND GEORGE: Hey.
ELAINE: Well, Where's my money? Who caved?
JERRY: Not me.
GEORGE: Not me.
ELAINE: What're you looking at?
JERRY: There's a naked woman across the street.
ELAINE: (Chuckling) This is gonna be the easiest money I've ever made in my life. (beat) So, my friend, Joyce, is teaching an aerobics class. I'm gonna go tonight.
JERRY: (distracted) Yeah.. the - the waitress should've taken it back.
ELAINE: (Realizes Jerry and George aren't paying attention) So then, I got a call this morning. You know, I was, uh, chosen to go on the space shuttle. We're goin' to Mars.
JERRY: (Still staring at the woman) Uh-huh.
GEORGE: Have a good time.
Kramer casually enters, takes a few step toward the kitchen, and slaps a wad of bills onto the counter.
KRAMER: I'm out!
Everyone stares at him shock.
KRAMER: Yeah, I'm out - I'm out of the contest.
GEORGE: You're out?!
KRAMER: Yeah, yeah.. (off their reactions) what?
ELAINE: Well, that was fast!
JERRY: Well, it was that woman across the street. (To Jerry) You know, you better be careful, buddy. She's gonna get you next.
He walks out, shutting the door behind him. Jerry, Elaine, and George all look at each other, reflecting.
ELAINE: ..And then there were three.
"I'm out!" Wow. The fact that Kramer went back to his apartment and off camera, essentially rubbed one out, and then admitted as much on national TV --- I am still amazed today they pulled it off. And don't know if I've ever laughed so hard. The genius of the episode and the scene is that the restrictions of network television forced them to write a story/scene about 'jacking it'...without ever saying the words.