When Your Life Is No Longer Your Own

Movie trailers used to be cool. Most would tease you with a taste, trying to entice you to come see what the heck that was going to be. Nowadays because market research apparently informed studios that showing viewers everything gets a better turnout, most trailers leave little to the imagination. As in, mass audiences prefer knowing what they're in for even if the trailer shows parts of the last reel, and thus today we tend to get a synopsis of a movie instead.

So in tribute to the then and now, Friday Fun is a few of my favourite 'just a taste' trailers...






And the original theatrical trailer for ALIEN here.

"I'm screaming but no one can hear me!!!!!"


And a few of my favourite "show everything including some of the plot but it still looks so awesome I need to see it' trailers:







Whoa.


Because they make me smile.

Love In An Elevator

Pitching is so hard...part audition, part performance art, part product description, and part sales job. You have to take that gem of an idea you're trying to sell, work out all the details...then take those details and distill them down to a coherent, concise, entertaining, interesting, and intriguing presentation.

Oh, and it should be fast --- think the length of an elevator ride. Some people call this the 'quick and dirty version', but most know this as 'the elevator pitch' (as in that's all the time you usually have to convey it to a network or studio or company exec) - a quick dynamic engaging verbal description of your show.

Easy to talk about, really really hard to do well. But practice definitely makes it easier, and your story or idea will always become better as you try it out on more and more people. And I'm a big believer in 'learning by doing'. Yes you can be taught the key elements to highlight, like your hook and your angle and why you want to tell this story, but only when the words come spilling out of your mouth and you have people reacting to it will you really know if it's actually connecting or not.

I wish I could find a decent 'how to pitch' video link, but I've come up empty. However, there's this link to how not to pitch:



Sometimes hearing what not to do can be as effective as being told what to do.

Successfully Selling Cops And Malls And Ring Tones

I was coerced into seeing Paul Blart: Mall Cop by the kids last night...oh yes, they'll be keeping me company when I head to Grindhouse II later year --- and you can line up to start kicking my ass now, but "Mall Cop" actually wasn't that bad.

Structurally, the script worked pretty well. Yes, it was by the numbers, but it more or less tracked...hit all the right notes when and where it was supposed to...and things that were set up early deftly paid off late. And like the Die Hard formula it was riffing off of, Blart was a reluctant hero but still likeable, and he saved the day plus got the girl at the end.

I even found the music interesting. It was primarily retro, but also had a few urban R&B/Hip Hop tunes for the kids (though in the theatre I was at the young'uns seemed to know all the oldies too). That said, I don't know if you'll hear REO Speedwagon's "Take It On The Run", Survivor's "I Can't Hold Back", and Rasheeda's "My Bubble Gum" together in any other movie this year. (Survivor...awesome!)



"I'm the type of girl you want to chew on like your bubblegum..."

It was a teenage girl's ringtone...but the phone ended up in Blart's possession. Hilarity ensued every time it rang.

My kids ate it all up (and judging by the movie's performance at the box office so far, they're not alone)...and surprisingly I didn't want to spit it out the minute the title sequence started to roll.

Go figure.

Good Role Models

Saw Role Models a couple nights ago with the teenage daughter, and even though I experienced slight discomfort when boobies were flashed on screen (is there ever a time when watching sex and nudity in movies with your children isn't awkward?), we both enjoyed it immensely. Paul Rudd is snide but sweet, Seann William Scott is simple but solid, and the supporting cast delivers big time. Lowbrow funny but with lots of heart, it's got a kind of 'School of Rock' meets 'Clerks II' feel. Even though this trailer makes it seem like a PG Disney flick, this R-rated trailer tells it like it is.

Speaking of telling it like it is, the two Bill's (Martell and Cunningham) are both crawling from the AFM wreckage with reports of their adventures.

I've only attended the American Film Market a couple times...and as icky as it can be (the fringe-dwellers all converge), I had a blast each time. So many stories....no time to tell. Martell seems like his plate was full and just in and out of the Loews (though he relates a great post here), but Cunningham was a busy boy and lists a bunch of responses and thus tips for the wannabe producers and filmmakers that attend such trade fair events. So many of these made me laugh out loud:

Producers: (title given with tongue firmly wedged in cheek) ...

- Deodorant is not an option.
- No, you don't look hip and cool in that t-shirt. Or that ice cream suit with lime shirt. Or that hat. Or that spandex that says"Camel Toes R Us."
- Honey, put your plastic boobs back in the bra. I ain't buying your movie.
- Get a haircut. After you first wash that greasy mop. And shave while you're at it.
- I don't care if they were on "One Tree Hill" (in the background) they are NOT a star.
- Relax. Just tell me what your movie is about -not its "themes, motifs or breath-taking locations." Your story is what hooks me. Nothing else.
- Yes, your key art is ugly.
- Everyone has a project. No one has a script, a budget, or a cast. No one has done their homework.
- No, I don't like your title (Somebody said their werewolf picture was called FOUR DAYS -- for the 4 days a month of a full moon. When I pointed out that there was only one true full moon per month and two 98% moons (one before and one after) he said nothing and walked away).
- Japan makes (and sells) a lot of movies that will never get any play here in the states. No judgments made with that statement just the facts.
- More and more people are shooting HD. It is not a selling point. I mean really - who cares? It's great for technically-minded folks, but not for sales people.
- No, I will not give you free advice on how to fix your poster after you've seen our portfolio, and know that we deliver.
- I said "no." You can leave now.

Funny cuz he's right, but all good advice. Thanks Bill(s). Nice role modeling.

Bill Kills

Sorry about being all linky and slutty, but that's how some days go.

Today Bill 'the Mad Pulp Bastard' Cunningham comes out swinging, then pulls off the gloves and tears apart some B-movie maker's lame poster and marketing campaign. Witness the carnage HERE...

Part of me has been sometimes tempted to post a really badly executed (read: shitty) synopsis or outline or screenplay I've been sent, just to point out what's not working (read: rip it a new asshole) in an effort to educate and inform...but I always jam out. Maybe it's because I'm just a nice guy. More like I'm just a pussy.

Not Bill.

But as tough as he is on these poor people's work (or peoples' poor work), there's a lot to be learned from their mistakes and his analysis.

Students...school is in session at Pulp 2.0. Go. Now.



p.s. I especially liked the 'why the Trajan font sucks' clip.