Thursday, March 15, 2007

The Avenger(s)...




Remember when this film was going to be released....














And you got all excited because you remembered this...






















...and this...









And this!















And then the film came out, and while there may have been this...


...it still sucked ass sooooo bad.

Do over?


What if they'd paired...



...with...









(Um...that's Clive Owen, if you weren't sure. And Liz Hurley)










Or even paired...






...with...

















Couldn't it have been soooo much better?




Oh, for the chance at a do over...to avenge 'The Avengers'!

.

12 comments:

DMc said...

No.

Becuzzz...say it with me now...

There.

Was.

no.

Script.

Riddley Walker said...

Absolutely agree with DMC.

In response to your last line in the post, I fail to see how it could have been much worse than it was.

What a dreadful cinematic experience. :-(

Callaghan said...

.....a photo essay by Will Dixon.

I didn't see the movie. But I would have if they had cast Uma, Liz and Kate.

Script or no script.

wcdixon said...

Picky picky picky...

Yes, it sucked eggs because the script didn't work. But still standing by my mantra that nobody tries to make a bad movie, how could this result in such an enormous misstep? I'm just sayin' even if the writing had worked better, the casting had something to do with its undoing as well.

C'mon ladies...Hugh? Plus Hurley? You'd soooo be there...

Diane said...

Well, at the time, I really liked Ralph Fiennes, and even he didn't make me want to see the film, so I gotta go with no. I mean, maybe Hugh Laurie would bring me through the door today, but he couldn't make me like it.

Good Dog said...

Yes, the script just blew. But then the TV show had really dopey stories.

What the film lacked was the flirtatious chemistry between Steed and Em. Ralph Fiennes just looked uncomfortable at what should have been light comedy. And I've never understood the point of Uma Thurman after she appeared in Mad Dog and Glory.

Actually, I should have said the film blew. The direction and pacing weren't great and the film had been edited to buggery.

Didn't the title sequence last longer than the film? And what a slow, sucky title sequence it was.

I'd go with Hugh and Kate - good choice, Will.

The only good thing about the original was that, with only six other people in the theater, there was room to stretch out.

Bill Cunningham said...

The problem with the script (IMO)was that they violated everything that made the Avengers work. Yes, it was funny (rather it was whimsical)but it never made fun of itself.

By the time the opening credits came up I knew I was in for a load of shite. If they had riffed on the opening sequences of the show - it would have worked, but they tried to make it into something it wasn't. This was indicative of the entire movie.

Callaghan - I don't think even Liz, Uma and Kate could have saved it. It was doomed...better to get the dvd sets and drool over the cool Ms. Cathy Gale, the spritely Mrs. Emma Peel, the miscast Ms. Tara King, and the hottie that became AbFab, Purdey (named after the distinctive shotgun).

Ah, what could have been...

Good Dog said...

Bill, you're right, there are title sequences that, when you watch them, you know the film's going to be a real wrong 'un.

As I remember it, The Avengers had some really drawn out nusto graphics that gave you no indication of the movie to follow. The old show titles were so great, especially Diana Rigg shooting the champagne cork off the bottle. (I guess we all read into that what we want...)

I remember sitting down to watch Cliffhanger and knew it was going to be an absolute clanger because they used a serif typeface for an action movie. I mean... oh, good grief.

Matt Watts said...

I kinda liked it.

Mind you, I'm watching Charlie's Angels right now and I'm enjoying it...

I also liked Lost in Space.

...

Fine, I'll admit it, I like crappy movies made from TV shows I watched as a kid (Don't even get me started on the Dukes of Hazzard movie - IT WAS AWESOME!)

Sue me.

wcdixon said...

Purdy...mmmm...

Bill Cunningham said...

Ah yes, Purdy....

The Moviequill said...

peel it, emma