Older...But No Wiser's?

Well, another 365 days have gone by and this old man is one year closer to the big Five-Oh.

Yikes.

And most days it feels like I still know next to nothing... especially about how to make quality entertaining TV in Canada without all the bullshit that seems to accompany that 'which shouldn't be so difficult and lofty but still is' goal here.

Double. Yikes.

So what I do know...I know that we need some new blood on this here TV/film blog circuit. Not only have the old guard been dropping like flies (my Technorati links to other blogs have dropped from 60 down to 25 in the past three months as a lot have just packed it in), but there's been hardly anyone new stepping up and joining the fray. C'mon peoples...we know you're reading, start blogging!

And I know it was inspiring to hear Denis talking smart on the Q yesterday...someone should give that boy a medal.

And it was also inspiring to hear Cunningham's talk with Kung Fu Monkey's John Rogers about all things bright and beautiful including John's new TV series Leverage. Nice one, Centaurians.

And I did buy a Blu-Ray back in November instead of a HD DVD player. After today's announcement by Toshiba, that was a smart call.

Little aside...one of the more interesting reasons I heard for the Blu-Ray triumph was that, to the average consumer, the name 'Blu-Ray' just sounded sexier and cooler and more attractive than HD DVD. Who'd have thunk it, but damn if that didn't sort of ring true for me.

And one of my students at the University nominated me for an 'Inspirational Sessional Instructor' award today...closing his/her letter with the line 'Will should be thanked for what is an utterly thankless job'. I smiled at that. Thanks mystery student.



So maybe I'm not so dumb, but still not as smart as I seem. Nevertheless, to the year gone by and to the one ahead...cheers. I'm sipping Wiser's Rye Whiskey...have a drink on me.

That Candy Colored Clown...

Been having some strange dreams lately...don't ask me why. You know, dreams that sear your brain, take root there, and then continue to fester and grow the next day. But sometimes those 'dreams' can serve as inpiration...which got me thinking about disturbing movie scenes and sequences.

A lot of my faves come from my youth...when one was relatively unscarred by all the horrors the real world had to offer so being exposed to a dark twisted movie sequence could really do a number on you...like almost any scene from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or Andy Warhol's Frankenstein, or Taxi Driver, or even Marathon Man's 'Is it safe?' scene...



But let's dig deeper, darker. Some standouts...Reservoir Dogs and the ear trimming set to 'Stuck In The Middle With You':



Or in Trainspotting...the toilet scene (or dead baby scene, take your pick):



But the master of the disturbing scene (but not necessarily effective film) is still, for me, David Lynch. From Elephant Man to Twin Peaks to Wild At Heart to Lost Highway, his movies have always been flawed but laden with memorably messed up moments (Fire Walk With Me...shiver). For example, Dennis Hopper's Frank in Blue Velvet and the "Mommy wants to f***!" scene made me shit...though for some reason, Dean Stockwell lip syncing 'In Dreams' disturbed me more:



Or who could deny the creep factor of Robert Blake's "I'm in your house right now. Call me." request of Bill Pullman in Lost Highway:



Or the diner scene and the man's recounting of his dream in Mulholland Drive:



Dreams are where Lynch really plays with our heads: all of his films have them...but the movie of Lynch's that remains to this day the only film I've ever walked out of (because it just creeped me out so) was Eraserhead. Essentially one long bad dream, it was an experiment in the juxtaposition of grating industrial noises and some horrific images (monster baby anyone?):



I've tried watching some of today's gore porn like the Hostel movies and Saw sequels, but they tend to either sicken or repulse or just bore with their blatent graphicness. It's all on the surface, and doesn't get under your skin. Unlike say, Donnie Darko and the rabbit skull. Or the General in Pan's Labyrinth having his cheek sliced open and then sewing it up himself. Or even the restrained threat of Anton the psychopath in the new Coen Brothers movie...that scene in the gas station with the old man and the coin toss...now that was disturbing.

I've written a lot of TV scripts, but the ones that remain 'memorable' in most people's minds have been the ones with unsettling yet relatable scenes. One was an Are You Afraid of the Dark? where two teens in a dingy ventured out onto a haunted swimming pool with something dangerous lurking beneath the water (Jaws in a pool was my pitch I believe). Another was a Psi Factor episode where a young man who we weren't sure if he was alive or dead began slowly decomposing and started peeling off his fingernails one by one. Both have earned me far more compliments than other episodes I was more proud of, because they had memorably disturbing sequences.

I've talked about this before...'movie moments' in the TV script. If you're writing horror or suspense television, try to go to that dark place of your nightmares and see what you find...sometimes one good creepy sequence is all you need to build your story around.

Mum...Mum...Mum...Mommy...

It's Stewie and Lois, so it should be absurd, but every parent's been there...



Because it makes me smile...

2 Down, 1 To Go...

Not quite moving on, but certainly turning around (SAG negotiations up next)...first the DGA, and now congrats to the members of the WGA for standing united and strong through difficult times to negotiate a decent contract.

Roll sound.

It's All About The Rules And The Money, Juno?

Culture. Cancon. Gemini's. Genie's. Entertainment?

Swinging a little late on the pitch here, but the fact that Juno, the sharp delightful little dramedy that's all the buzz right now, wasn't eligible for Genie nominations is still nagging at me. As the Toronto Star's Peter Howell points out in this article...it was shot in Canada, it was directed by a Canadian (Jason Reitman), and the two main leads (Ellen Page and Michael Cera) are Canadian. Yet because it was financed by Fox Searchlight out of the U.S., it didn't qualify. It wasn't Canadian enough.

More from Howell:

So why don't I just let the matter drop? The reason is that year after year, the Canadian movie industry moans about the lack of support for homegrown talent.

The Genies inspire so little passion in the frozen populace, only people directly involved care about who wins what prize. The viewing audience for the Genies' telecast is so low, our national taxpayer-funded broadcaster no longer carries it.

Then a movie comes along, directed by and starring Canadians and made in Canada, that people actually want to see. And what do we all do? We declare it can't possibly be Canuck.

Here's how weird it gets. U.S. actor Viggo Mortensen is nominated for a Genie for his strong acting in Eastern Promises, which was filmed in London. Julie Christie, a Briton, is nominated for her deeply moving performance in Away From Her. Yet Michael Cera, who actually is Canadian, isn't nominated for his sweetly innocent turn as the baby dad in Juno.

This does happen every year (last go around it was Cronenberg's A History of Violence), and I understand that the rules are in place to try to ensure homegrown indiginous projects get to be 'most' eligible...still...

It comes down to the money...and the rules. Money as in where the money came from - and rules as in the citizenship and residency of the producer(s) who manage that money to make the film. Is that the way it should work? If Juno had been actually set in the sleepy little town of White Rock, B.C., I still don't think it would've been eligible. Yet London-set Eastern Promises was. It's wacky.

Wacky like the culture/commercial entertainment debate going on at the CRTC hearings over the Canadian Television Fund....different arena, but it also comes down to rules and money (though in this case it's how much the Canadian broadcasters and cablers are earning because of 'the rules'). McGrath swings just right and hits a home run today with his monster post on the topic.

EDIT: And Henshaw wants to marry Jim Shaw...well, maybe not marry anymore, but he likes a lot of what Shaw's people had to say to the CRTC. About Canadian content.

Still I sigh. So much of what we make or try to make tv/film-wise (music seems to have worked out okay though) in this country is dictated by the well-intended objective but ultimately detrimental impact of the requirements to achieve that goal...Cancon.

It shouldn't be a dirty word, but Juno...

It Takes Two (To Bust A Move)

Looks like we might be very close to a deal and an end to the Writers Strike 2007/08...as usual, Nikki Finke has all the behind the scenes and play by play.

The last WGA strike was in 1988, almost twenty years ago. I remember first hearing reports that that strike was over as I was listening to the radio sitting outside the Connaught Library in my black VW Bug....probably days after it was actually settled. Today we have the internets and news channels and are hearing updates before the negotiators even finish their sentences. Not sure which way is better anymore.

At any rate, then the song of that summer came on: "It Takes Two" by Ron Base & DJ Easy Rock.



Okay, it ain't Bust A Move, but even as a newbie writer, it still made me wanna get out of my car and boogie...


Here's hoping the WGA and AMPTP have found an acceptable middle ground, and all our members and gonnabe members are dancing soon...

Mmmmm...That's Good OJ...

Because a baby wants his money, man. Because it goes on for soooo long. And because it's Stewie...it's Friday Fun.




Because it makes me smile...

Why I'm The Beavis Of The Canuck TV Bloggers...

You've all probably read these posts already, but I still wanna tip my hat to McGrath and Epstein and Henshaw...

On the Canadian Television Fund hearings going on in front of the CRTC...read what Dead Things On Sticks and Complications Ensue have to say...and at the Legion of Decency, Jim's monster post about trying to make good TV in this country, against all odds...

It. Just. Shouldn't. Be This. Hard!

But it is...


And I'm at a loss to add anything new or that hasn't already been said, except to say I'm appalled that we still have to get up in airless lifeless rooms and restate the obvious.

Best I seem able to contibute these days is how a certain Canadian actress currently starring in MVP...erm...arouses me...

So when it comes to writing passionately and intelligently about the state of the industry in Canada, go read the other guys...they're the pro's.

Hehehe...I said hard.

I Hate Pens!

Things aren't going well for the AMPTP, and so we have Nick Counter as Adolf Hitler in this hilariously re-subtitled scene a la Woody Allen's 'What's Up Tiger Lily'...



"We need to build a time machine...go back in time...and un-invent the internet. Good-bye free porn."


Stick with it...it's brilliant.


Thanks to Hart

Planes, Trains, and Auto-TV Directors

When you're a TV director for hire, you're constantly getting parachuted in to work with a crew of 50-60 people who've been grinding it out together for months, sometimes even years.

They're tight. You're the outsider.

They're a family. You're the...boarder.

And like every family, most get along well. But some, not so much.

Director Ron Oliver has a lovely post up about the completion of his latest movie and dealing with the family factor of crews and cast...in fact he relates a similar tale about sound recordists to the one I'm about to recount...


It was a West Coast production and the first day of filming. I'd met some of the crew, but only briefly. When you're prepping, you spend most of your time with the Writers and 1st Assistant Director and Locations and Casting and the Line Producer --- while the bulk of rest of the crew are off somewhere shooting the present episode.

But then your episode starts to film, and you have to hit the floor running. And pretty much every show I've directed, the crew will call you 'Boss'.

"You want to use the blue cell phone or the red cell phone, boss?"

"Camera looking this way, boss? Or that way?"

It makes sense. One word says it all...'boss'. Except on TV series, it doesn't really say it all. I mean, you may be 'a' boss, but you're not 'the boss'. And once you get over the little inner glow you feel from being called "boss", it sinks in that what it really means they don't have to learn your name. Shows how interchangeable you really are (as the TV episodic director).

Anyway, my first day filming and we were out in a nice residential neighbourhood, but there seemed to be an inordinate amount of train and plane noise. And as afternoon raced toward evening, the Director of Photography (DOP) was constantly having to add lights and flags to try to maintain a consistency to the scene we were filming. And he was getting more and more agitated....especially each time the Sound Recordist called out: "No good for sound."

The DOP started to pace. Finally he voiced his concerns to me: "This scene is going to look like shit." I thought he was doing a fine job and told him so, but he still shook his head: "No way, the lights changing too fast and the shadows are creeping in...shit shit shit. And all these retakes for sound aren't helping."

Now I didn't want to get on the DOP's bad side on the first day, but I also understood the importance of getting good clean sound. On the other hand, the scene wasn't a dealbreaker scene, so I went over to the Sound Recordist and quietly asked if we could relax a bit on the 'perfect sound' expectations because you know, we were losing the light and there were other more meaty scenes that night that I wanted to spend more time on.

Pick your battles, know your priorities.

But Sound Recordist crossed his arms and said no way...he wasn't going to be getting the gears from the producers later if they had to bring in a bunch of actors to rerecord their dialogue (ADR).

Hmmm.

So I walked back to my 1st AD and quietly asked if he had a solution for this pseudo-standoff between departments. He just laughed and shook his head: "Get used it. These two are just getting started."

Turns out I'd walked into an ongoing feud between this particular DOP and the finicky Sound Recordist. That's where your 1st AD can be your friend: inform you ahead of time where the strengths and weaknesses and 'issues' of the crew and the cast are. This AD didn't. Grrrr.

Sidebar: besides the actors and the 1st AD and DOP, I tend to try to bond quickly with the Camera Operator. He/she can be a lifesaver...help with your blocking and framing...figure out your coverage...not to mention make your shots appealing to the eye.

Lurve a good camera operator.

But I digress...


So I said we were going again. Sound Recordist smiled. DOP glowered.

We ran the scene and right near the end of the take, another plane flew overhead. And as I called 'Cut', Sound Recordist yelled "Sound needs another!" before I'd even finished my sentence.

DOP slowly stands up from his chair. Speaks very loudly.

DOP: "Why the hell do we keep waiting on sound? I'm being hurried to light every friggin' shot but I'm telling you right now...there'll be a hell of a lot more deaf people watching this show than blind people!

Then he looks directly at me: "So what's it gonna be...BOSS?"

Um. Yeah.

What do you say? How should you respond? Because as politically incorrect as it was to say, in many ways, he had a valid point.

So I made an executive decision and told Sound Recordist we were moving on. Something or someone had to win out...and I went with Picture. But not before explaining to Lead Actor we had all the pieces from different takes and he was brilliant.

Not to negate the invaluable contributions of the sound department or all the rest of crew and cast, but when you're a TV director dropped into a series....keep your enemies close, but keep your Lead Actor, 1st AD, DOP, and Camera Operator closer.
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Jessie? Meet Craig (s) List...

Friday Fun returns with an internets party and all your fav (or not so fav) websites are there...



Because it makes me smile...


Thanks to Denis.

He Sold Sanctuary

Tip of the hat to old pal Damian Kindler for the sale of his hi-def supernatural/sci-fi series Sanctuary to the SCI-FI Channel, and the order for a 13 episode season.

More details on the deal HERE.

And interview with Damian back when it all began to hit the internets HERE.

Congrats all round, but the sale raises some interesting questions. The series was originally designed to be web-based and fan/pay-per-webisode driven, but the two hours worth of material produced and streamed thus far look more to have served as some form of back door pilot.

Will try to find out more from the Kindler as to how it will proceed now, but wonder if the series has gone from an innovative groundbreaking Web venture to just another cable TV show. And how will the fans that subscribed to and supported the venture thus far react?
Well sold?

Or sell out?

Why Hart Writes...

There's been a nice series of short essays posted at 'Why We Write' by a good cross section of mostly prominent WGA film/TV writers where they try to explain...erm, why they write.

This week, old pal and friend of the blog Hart Hanson (Bones, Judging Amy) weighed in. His entire piece is a delight, but for me, this passage in particular stood out:


Early on I was determined to spend my life in serious-minded literary writing. As a result, I write a murder show for network television. For the Fox network.

I don’t need my imaginary therapist to figure out that one — genuine artistes are willing to forego health, love, underarm hygiene, financial security, family, and fun-on-the-weekends to pursue their art and I was never booked to be that guy. I want my wife to like me and I like clean teeth. Besides, one of my first rejections from a literary magazine said, “We found much to admire in your piece, especially the punctuation.”

The PUNCTUATION!

Read between the lines, pal. Nobody ever praised Thomas Mann or Saul Bellow for their punctuation.

Besides, genuine artists don’t pander to an audience and I always envision you out there … you and your friends along with an extra smattering of acerbic celebrities, historical figures, the Nobel Committee, Stephen Fry, my idiot cousin’s idiot husband, courtesans, my entire high school, and maybe Jimmy Page in the last row.

The truth is my main qualification for being a writer is that I am a whiz bang typist. I burn up the keys, baby! I will kick your ass typing. I learned on a Remington unmarked manual typewriter so you sit me down in front of an ergonomic keyboard, well, I’m faster than all those girl celebutards I refuse to differentiate between but you know to whom I’m referring; they have issues with underwear.

But all of the above answers the question, “How I Came to Write” which is different from “Why I Write”.

I write because I’m totally confused by the world. I never know what’s going on. I absolutely never know what absolutely anything absolutely means. I ask and the good-hearted, intelligent souls around me do their best to explain but I don’t get it. I don’t get quiddity or science or religion or psychology or why we laugh when people fall down or why people come together or why we drift apart. I don’t understand my friends or my enemies and I definitely don’t understand time or gravity or mob mentality or Crocs or botox or why people take some other people seriously when they so very, very obviously should not be taken seriously.

Writing is a way for me to organize the chaos around me. I can corral bits of the sloppy world into a clean white area measuring 8 ½ x 11 inches, where it is apprehensible. Then actors and directors and the DP and the crew all explain it back to me on 35 millimeter opaque celluloid squares twenty four times per second and sometimes — rarely, but sometimes — I go “Oh!” and I don’t wish I were a physicist or a great guitar player or a blimp pilot because for those few fleeting seconds, I understand some small facet of some small thing.

And that’s why I write.


snif...snif...

Set em up with the funny...then knock 'em down yet win them over with the emotional and heartfelt --- vintage Hanson...(I know...handjobs all round)


Find Hart's essay and many other wonderful musings on this thing we do....HERE.

.

Bemused, Confused, And Amused...

Okay okay...I'll get back in the saddle soon...sheesh. Snarky comments and emails from expectant readers...let an old man take a breather, 'kay?

But in the meantime, I'm admit I'm a little confused.

Did The...erm...I mean 'A' Daily Show and the Col-bert Report sign some kind of interim contract or waiver or something? Because while the first few shows after returning to the airwaves reflected their scribes being on strike (looser...more guests...fewer 'bits'), this week both programs seem more or less same as they ever were. Sure, we don't have Colbert's 'The Word', but with sketches and reporter field reports and moments of 'zen', it sure feels written.

What's up with that?


And some Friday Fun...just to remind us all what the WGA writers are up against (or what they're missing), the great Tony Shalhoub as movie producer Ben Geisler giving the gears to John Turturro in the Coen Brothers classic Barton Fink...




"Writers come and go...but we always need Indians. "

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Love/Hate Relationship

I like tee-vee. It's a silly, misguided, and frivolous creature most of the time, but still the animal I love the most.

And as much as I can appease myself with all there is to enjoy of late, writer's strike and all (Dexter Cycle 2, Jeckyl, Life, South Park cycle 10, A Daily Show & Colbert Report, The Border, and Burn Notice, now available in Canada on Super Channel!), there are times when tee-vee makes me want to throw up in my mouth...read: American Idol.

Don't get me wrong...I know why Idol is a monster hit. I 'get' it. I just don't like it.

From ctv.ca

Always-quirky audition episodes kick off Season 7 of American Idol

With days to go before the premiere of American Idol, fans are smacking their lips in anticipation of the most humourous -- and often humiliating -- first episodes of the show, the auditions.

Commercials already airing for Season 7, which begins Tuesday, January 15 at 8 p.m. ET on CTV, have given the show's massive and ravenous audience a sneak peak into the over-the-top drama of a few unsuccessful competitors.

From insisting they sound like "Mariah Houston" to having backstage freak-outs at the camera, the show is looking as juicy as ever!

And I especially don't like Idol when it launches with the audition episodes.

You know, the ones where they touch on the lucky few that somehow made it through the gauntlet of singalongs and pre-interviews and callbacks and profiling (trust me, how good they can sing is so far down on the list - the show is looking for 'types' and 'characters'), but dwell on the auditioners who croak and squeak their way through a tune only to suffer insults from the panel of 'experts' sitting there with their giant Slurpee cups of Coke.

Millions upon millions of people tune in to laugh at the shortcomings and failures of others. It's the cornerstone of most reality TV programming, and it's just wrong.

And sooooo mean-spirited.

But it gets worse. The recent promo blitz on CTV goes one step further, presenting social and cultural stereotypes being ridiculed and humiliated. The overweight pseudo-diva black woman....the overtly gay interior decorator salsa man... I mean, C'MON!



What was once ads for genuine fame seekers tripping over their own voices is now promo after promo of what are clearly plants, I'm even betting actors, pretending to be wannabe's so they can sing badly, act ignorant, and storm out of the room in a rage.

And millions smack their lips in anticipation.

That's when I hate tee-vee.

Turn It Up

So The Daily Show and Colbert Report return to the airwaves tonight...without writers.

Hmmm...

Not sure what to make of that but will still tune in to see what my current late night comedy heroes have to say.

And in lieu of a real post, we've all seen memes and threads about your fave music to write to or work to...but what's the song when you hear in the car that you have to turn up LOUD, or if at home, dance madly around the office?

A song that lights you up.




Not that I love the cocaine...just the groove. (in case anyone was wondering)

That's Serious Radio Contest Winner Money...

SNL's Fred Armisen as (fake) studio head Roger A Trevanti, who has a message for the striking WGA writers...



Because it makes me smile.

Oh No The Driving Snow...

I can vouch for this great winter driving tale from Henshaw....because he called me shortly after the two trucks jackknifed around him. And he recounted his adventure to me pretty much word for word as he tells it on his blog. He called me because, well, we're pals, but also because he was on his way to Vegas and the NATPE convention before going on to Los Angeles, if I remember correctly. See, he was going to check out some going-ons for me at NATPE and report back.

But perhaps that's too much info.

At any rate, a fantastic story from Jim...anyone who's lived for any length of time in winter climes has one like it. Mine was much less exciting. It was during a winter drive through the Rockies for a week long golf trip in Vancouver...but I had the easy shift, then crawled in the back seat and slept for 4 hours as my two buddies navigated a monster blizzard that sprang up out of nowhere. I woke up when we finally crawled into Revelstoke and pulled up to a motel. And I would've thought nothing happened were it not for the ten inches of snow that was now on the roads and their pale faces and stressed out voices as they tossed back beers and described how many times we nearly slid off the highway with hundred foot drops on either side.

Ulp. What you don't know can't hurt you I suppose.

But I can say that next golf trip, we flew.

Way To Go Dave!

The late night talk shows returned in full force last night...my new HD PVR got a serious workout. Some programs had their writers (thanks to Letterman's company Worldwide Pants), other shows, not so much.

Letterman (with a beard!) led the charge with a no holds barred but still business-as-usual program, followed up by Craig Ferguson's all-WGA all-written no guest-fest. At the same time on different networks, shows without their staff writers also hit the airwaves. The Tonight Show with Leno seemed 'same as it ever was' (not sure if that's a good thing or a scary thing)...Jimmy Kimmel used restraint and stayed at his desk - kudos...and Conan O'Brien just kinda...erm, sucked. Not sure if it was on purpose to make a statement, or if O'Brien really really needs his writers. I'm choosing to believe the former for now.

Nikki Finke has the full story HERE.

Still, a big tip of the hat to David Letterman and his company for negotiating an interim contract with the WGA...it only takes one to stand up to the man before others will start to follow suit.

Way to go Dave!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

To you and yours in 2008....especially McGrath, Henshaw, Epstein, Cunningham, Caroline, Juniper, Diane, mef, Jaime, Don, Peter, the John(s), the UK crew, and all the writers, readers, and commenters that made this year and this blog worthwhile.



All the best!

wcdixon