This Is Not A Challenge, This Is An Opportunity

When you make your living as a creative freelancer, you're constantly getting asked to work on spec, as in: "Could you do this for us and if we get any traction there will be some work/money in it for you down the road." The future employment, that's always the carrot dangled in front of your nose.

And when you're starting out, you do need to take on some of those freebies. Because you need to get noticed. Because you need to show what you've got. Because you need to start building professional relationships. But the problem so many of us face is that even after doing it successfully for years, decades even, you'll still get the "We've got no money, but could you whip something up?" calls.

The following are two Friday Fun examples of what you wish you could say instead of "Sure thing. I'll get right on it." They're from the worlds of advertising and graphic design, but they absolutely apply to screenwriting or making TV.

The first is a hilarious e-mail exchange between David Thorne and a prospective client. It's from Thorne's website 27b/6 .

An excerpt:

From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.10pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Anyone else would be able to see the opportunity I am presenting but not you. You have to be a f*cking smart arse about it. All I was asking for was a logo and a few pie charts which would have taken you a few f*cking hours.


From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.25pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon

Actually, you were asking me to design a logotype which would have taken me a few hours and fifteen years experience. For free. With pie charts. Usually when people don't ask me to design them a logo, pie charts or website, I, in return, do not ask them to paint my apartment, drive me to the airport, represent me in court or whatever it is they do for a living. Unfortunately though, as your business model consists entirely of "Facebook is cool, I am going to make a website just like that", this non exchange of free services has no foundation as you offer nothing of which I wont ask for.

Regards, David.


Go read the rest of the transcript HERE, with pie charts and everything. Simply brilliant.



The other example is in the same vein and pretty self explanatory. And pretty funny.




Because they make me smile.


H/T Matt MacLennan H/T Jay Robertson

Saigon...Sh*t....I'm Still Only In Saigon

Well, after numerous conference calls and a whack of research and untold revisions of pitch documents and proposals, the tv project that looked so promising for a fast track after the Banff festival still sits on some high up decision makers desk --- waiting for a green light...or a pass.

And to further complicate matters (or make one crazy mental) - was recently informed by network that another project almost identical to ours had managed to get in the door and onto same decision makers desk, and was being given equal consideration...even though it arrived long after ours first got presented.

Sometimes this business can make you feel like a snail, crawling along the edge of a straight razor...

SONG & ARTIST? - "Well, say that you'll be true,

Well, say that you'll be true,

Well, say that you'll be true,

and never leave me blue... "

Hurry Up And Wait... (Or the Freelance Writing Experience)

That's a pretty apt description for working on a film set, but it can also apply to writing a freelance script for an existing television series.


Most TV series these days have all their episodes written by their writing staff. It makes sense, especially with series that have complicated interwoven storylines and multiple character arcs (Lost, 24, Grey's Anatomy, etc.). And its next to impossible for a freelancer to know all that info without the benefit of being in the writers room all the time. But TV series that are more anthological or stand alone in design (House, Stargate & Stargate Atlantis, the CSI's) are more condusive to a freelancer parachuting in and writing an ep.

I recently wrote and delivered the outline for an existing series. It was a lot of work, but relatively painless. The show formula was fairly straightforward.

But allow me some muttering...

They really should restructure the Writer's Guild payment percentages. Generally (at least in Canada), they go down as follows:

10% on signing

20% on (EDIT:acceptance) delivery of outline

50% on delivery of first draft

20% on delivery of second draft

Of the last three freelance scripts I've written, the bulk of the work was at the outline stage. You have to break the story, research everything, map it out, add details to the point of it almost being a script, and in the case of those three freelance scripts - sprinkle in dialogue throughout the outline so that once its all said and done, the writing of the draft is not much more than plugging in the rest of the dialogue. The last one hour I wrote took me two months and four drafts of what ended up being a 23 page outline (TV one hour scripts generally end up around 50-55 pages). Once the outline was approved, the writing of the first draft took me a day and a half. Yet you see the payment scheme, and I feel they should be flipped - 50% for outline...20% for first draft...IMHO.

Anyway, when hired to write a freelance episode, generally it goes like this. You get a call, you meet/speak with the showrunner/head writers...sometimes you pitch them an idea, but most times they have an arena they want you to explore and some episode goals already worked out for you. And then you go away to write, usually ushered out the door with an urgency to it all..."We need this right away!"...Can you get to us by the end of the week?"...and you press pedal to the floor and deliver.

And then you wait. And wait. And wait.

I always ask for a reply to my email/delivery stating its been received and is in the machine. And when they respond, its generally accompanied by a note: 'Thanks for getting this in. Things are a little nuts here right now, but we'll get you some notes back end of the week/ASAP.'

Now, having spent a fair bit of time on the other side of the fence...I have a pretty good idea what 'Things are pretty nuts here' can mean, especially if a series is already shooting. Fires are always burning. Scripts in immediate prep and production always take precedent. For those on the frontlines, it's like a fast moving almost out of control train - even if going well.

And then there is the network...

What never seems to be calculated into the equation of timely feedback are the 'network notes'. Once your outline has been vetted and tweaked by story dept. it has to go to the network. Expect to add at least a week to any sort of schedule of the story dept. receiving notes back from the network. And hopefully network likes it, if they don't - the story dept. then has to try to fix it and resubmit to the network and wait and see if they like it now. You as the freelancer generally never see these notes or participate in this process....but you have to wait for it all to go down.

So as I sit around and 'wait' for notes on this outline I delivered about two weeks ago, the brain starts to swirl...

Did it suck? Do I suck? (maybe)

Do they hate it? (heard that before)

Does network hate it? (been there, done that)

Are they drawing straws to see who is going to tell me I'm fired? (had that happen...only once thankfully)

Has series/characters changed dramatically? (as in your story is now redundant or irrelevant because story dept. rewrites of scripts prior to yours changed direction of arcs, relationships, etc. -all out of your control obviously but now the story dept. is wondering what to do with your story...major overhaul usually ensues)

Are they busy on more pressing issues? (see above, production stuff)

Hmmmmm....

And it can be any of these reasons, but generally it ends up being none of the above - it's just a time/priority thing, and you needn't have sweat it...

....just when they said we'll get you notes by the end of the week, they should have said end of the month.

SONG&ARTIST? - "The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part."