F*ck. Me. Gently. Please?

Acting. Auditioning. So hard. So so so hard.

I wrote a post a few years ago entitled But Would You F*ck Him? using a scene from James L Brooks' film I'll Do Anything to relate some of the harsh realities of the casting process...but Ken Levine takes the same topic and hits it out of the park in a recent entry entitled, not coincidentally, Guys Are Not Going To Want To F**k Her.

For example:

Your agent submits your name. The casting director may not think you’re right or not be a fan and you’re dead. Assuming you’re over that hurdle you’re invited in to read. There usually are a hundred or more actors reading for every role. Great odds, huh? In these initial sessions you’re usually reading for a committee – the writer/producers, the pod producers, a couple of studio representatives. All you need is one of them to not like you and you’re toast. And by “not like” that could mean “too tall”, “good but we’ve seen him in things”, “he was my waiter last week at the Daily Grill and was terrible”, and “guys are not going to want to fuck her”.

It gets better. Or worse, depending on your prospective.

You can hit it out of the park and still not get the part. The network president may be partial to a name on his golden list. He may have no ability to judge talent. He may not want to fuck you.

By some miracle he likes you. But there’s a hang-up. He still wants a bigger name. So you hold your breath while the producers make an eleventh hour plea to Paula Marshall. She passes. They settle for … I mean “cast” you.

You’re in, right? Not so fast.

During the week of production there are network table readings and runthroughs. You could get fired at any one of them. And it’s not necessarily your fault. The material could be awful, the director gave you bad direction, they never really wanted you in the first place.

Yeow. The line that resonates the most with me is..."They settle for - I mean *cast* you." With just about every writing or directing job I've gotten I've felt like they *settled* for me. Maybe we creative types always feel that way. Or maybe 'they' always do settle. Who knows.

Anyway go read all of Mr. Levine's post HERE. It's a classic.

Leon Take Your Break At Two

Writers, directors, producers...sure, we all have it hard. But acting? Acting is hard!




"I had questions to ask, and research to do,
Like why does Leon take a break and why is it at 2?"

Fun-neeeeeee!



H/T Adam Barken

Good Actors Gone Wild

I know by posting this I'm encouraging people to listen to it...but I do have a point to make. The following is an audio excerpt of actor Christian Bale losing it and yelling at the DOP during the filming of Terminator: Salvation last summer. Yes it's NSFW, but I did enjoy Bale dropping the F-bomb effectively and with just the right amount of emphasis, over and over and over again. Hear the rant HERE.

What's most surprising to me isn't what's said or fact it was said on the floor of a film production (believe me, I've heard worse), but that so many of the commenters rip a strip off Bale for being an ass and a prima donna and so on. I suppose most would rather tear down stardom and celebrity than hold it up on high, but there's lots of missing context to consider here.

Bale could've just been in the middle of a very emotional scene that he'd spent days preparing for, and then gotten distracted at the worst possible time. The DOP could've been an arrogant tool who behaves like all actors are sheep and his disruptive behavior may have been going on for weeks and this was the time Bale went off on it. Or the DOP could be a sweetheart and just moved to the wrong place at the wrong time. Or Bale could be a completely dickwad and treats everyone like shit.

We don't know, we'll never know...but like the Alec Baldwin phone message to his daughter of a couple years ago, it's really none of our business and wasn't meant for public consumption... so, in fact, we shouldn't know.

A film set is an extremely intense and volatile environment. You've got upwards of sixty people moving about constantly, all with very specific and important job descriptions, all with their job on the line if they screw up. And then, for a few brief moments every half hour or so, everyone has to freeze after a director calls 'Action!', and wait for one or two actors to do something or say a few lines of dialogue.

Is that really so bad? A few minutes of stillness and silence an hour is all we're talking here...it's not unreasonable.

Actors are a funny lot. And yes, some do get a big head about themselves and what they're doing...but the reality is they are the ones physically putting themselves out there whenever they step in front of the lens. It's an incredibly vulnerable position to be in. They're also usually the most sensitive and insecure, with the most to lose and least to gain in their minds...and thus, as a crew member, you need to be cognisant of this truism. Yes it's a collaborative medium, and every job done well is crucial to a movie's success. But so much rides on the actors performance...that's something that will get seen and noticed by movie viewers. Whereas the dappled light across the back wall of the set that may be a half stop over, probably not so much.

I'm not condoning being a dick, or treating people like scum...professionalism and mutual respect should always the first priority. But in the high stakes, big-money tension-filled, ego-driven, very loud world of life on a film set...a little quiet now and then isn't too much to ask.


EDIT: And there's already a remix...very Colbertian

No Blinking!

Film and television acting is more of a science than an art, in my opinion.

Not to belittle the brilliance of the many talented performers who grace our movie screens and TV sets every year, but acting for 'the lens' requires lots of other very specific abilities. Of course it's about creating a voice and becoming the part to make the viewer believe you 'are' the character being portrayed, but it's also about finding your light and hitting marks and maintaining eye lines and understanding lenses and knowing edge of frame...I could so go on and on. Not to mention NOTHING is performed continuously top to bottom, but rather in little bits and pieces all filmed out of order.

Generating a performance is very important. Conveying that performance effectively to the audience within the parameters and constraints of the filmed medium...as if not more important. More math than method...again, in my opinion.


That's why the 'Acting In Film' series with Michael Caine is so money, and should be required viewing for every aspiring (and even established) thespian. Caine's all about less is more, craft not art, and in a straightforward and understandable way drops dozens of helpful hints to make the camera love you.

Here's a taste:




Michael Caine On Acting In Film...I own the book and DVD and recommend them to anybody, but you find find some of the best video bits HERE (parts 1-6)


And...cut!